Strange Buys

Posted by chet at March 27th, 2006

Did you ever want to cremate your pet and then carry around their ashes in a stuffed animal designed to look just like them? QUIT LYING!!! You know you have wanted it, and finally now there is a company providing this high demand sevices - comfort pets.

Okay, so freak out aside, I bet there is a part of you admiring Comfort Pets. You are probably thinking they have a staff of talented toy makers ready to create the exact likeness of your beloved pet. Think again. From their site:

Choose from our list of breeds that looks closest to your pet for a pet memorial urn that is a soft and gentle final resting place. It doesn’t have to look exactly like your beloved companion, a mere resemblance will still be comforting.

I bet spending $60 on booze instead of a stuffed animal is pretty comforting as well. Because that’s right, all they are doing is selling you a stuffed animal with a zipper pouch in it so that you can stuff it with the ashes from your dead pet.

But don’t worry, they are expensive stuffed animals…

Posted by chet at March 13th, 2006

First, thank god they have all colors. If you are stuck with a glass eye at least there can be some benefit. Your eye can match your outfit. And these aren’t the crazy shaped civil war era eyes you see flooding the fake eye market, these are quality German made eyes.

These eyes were supposedly made by a German Craftsman pre WWII and traded with a Chicago eyemaker for shoes, clothing and food. Included is a business card from the Chicago eyemaker where he claims to be one of the few eyemakers who make both made to order glass eyes, and made to order plastic eyes. He needs to add, also have mass produced, lucky to fit Nazis eyes! Some people just don’t know how to market.

Link thanks to bidboy.com

Posted by chet at March 12th, 2006

Buy it Here

Why? Pretty simple, the features.

“Electronic interactive chimp really hugs you“

Yep, that’s right. A real hug. Not one of those fake, I can’t remember who you actually are fake hugs that happen at your Aunt’s funeral. Or not even one of those, we are brother and sister so this hug should me something, but honestly you are have gone a little insane so hugging you is a scary, hugs. A real hug.

And not just a real hug, a real hug from a chimp.

“Claps hands, feeds on bottle, even giggles when tickled in the right spot”

I think we are all hoping the same thing on what that right spot is.

“Feeds from his banana bottle and makes realistic baby chimp sounds”

My realistic sounds would be those of horror and pain as I test cosmetics on its eyes, but I would guess that their baby chimps sounds are not that far off. And a banana bottle? Everyone loves a banana, okay, almost everyone.

“This cuddly little baby chimp comes with special adoption certificate”

Nothing says pathetic like a fake adoption certificate hung proudly on your wall for your stuffed animal. Chicks will dig that level of pathetic.

“For ages 4 yrs. and up”

We have that covered.

And if worst comes to worst, you can always rip off the head and add it to your roomba.